Well, Tuesday was the day of my interview. I thought it went rather well myself. The only thing is they don't have any thing to assist blind people. So I'm having to work with them. This man I talked to said the only really big problem would be prooff reading. I didn't see what a big deal that was. I mean, Jaws will read the stuff back to me. I tried to explain that to him, but I don't think he got it. He thought I was talking about a voice ricanition sofftware. I told him I would show him what my jaws can and can't do. I hope we can get threw all this. I really want to do this.

Men are strange some times. For the last two nights James has been in this I don't give a care mood. I asked him what his problem was, but he couldn't come up with an answer. He did send me this song I like a lot. He sent it along time ago when we first said that we liked each other, but my computer crashed and I lost it. He sent it again last night, and he told me to listen to it closely. It's a love song in the rap style. lol, Don't worry though, the song is really pretty. It's refreshing to hear a rap song that sounds from the heart.

I'm about to read this book called, "A Child Called It." I've heard it's a really sad book. I might try to find my tissue box then. lol

It's that time again. I haven't even had a good cup of coffee yet. So as always take care, and start thinking about the hollidays. I know I am.

Current Location: It's to early to say.
Current Mood: groggy
Current Music: Wifey Riddim by Aggro.

I won't babble long. I'm pretty tired. I just thoght I would drop by and let those who have been having sleep problems from not hearing from me could finally sleep at last. lol


By the way my 50 feet phone cord worked. I am glad to say I am writing to you guys from the comfort of my chair in my room. I told my mom about it, and I laughed over her reaction. I thought she would nag me about it, but she said okay in a, yeah, alright Ashley. You do that, sort of way.

James is doing just fine. Porr thing has been having a lot of trouble with his computer lately. He really needs a new one , but money doesn't grow on trees, unfortunely. Some times I look at the months ahead and feel the summer will never come. I can't wait until I see him.

I didn't do much for halloween. I did watch my favorite ghost show though. They were live and it was really cool. I even listened to different web cams they had set up. I'm serious when I say I did hear some weird stuff. Yes, I do believe there is such a thing as ghosts. Make of it what you will.

My weekend was more fun then I originally thought. I sat around a fire every night and listened to stories of how my father knew Johny Cash, I part taked in margreetahs, helped my uncle with stuff, and I relearned the innecence of a 10 year old. lol

I bought a glass flute today. I can't wait until it gets heare. I haven't had a flute in my hands since I walked out of those tsb doors. I missed the flute a lot. It'll take a bit of getting used to though. I've never played a glass one, but the tone is almost magical.

Alright, that's about all you'll get out of me for now. Take care everyone as always, and find it in your heart to forgive some one who has wronged you. Lots of peace, love and much happyness.

Current Location: my room
Current Mood: content
Current Music: Do You Believe In magic by Lovin Spoonfull

I'll just go right in to it. Late last night I was talking on the phone. You know, just catching up with an old friend, and then my heart felt all funny. I checked my pulse and I swore it stopped. It didn't beat for a full beat. The best way I can describe it was like my heart hesitated for a moment. Man, I, was, freaked out! I got really scared. I thought I hadn't really even started life yet, and James, well, I was afraid there migh tnot even be a future with him. Even though I was freaked I didn't tell my mother until the morning.

She took me to the emergency room, and we spent a little over 5 hours in that place! They ran blood work on me and had me take a test called an ecko. I am very glad to say that absolutely nothing is wrong with my heart! The doctor told me to lay off the caffeine, and if it kept happening, then to come back. He also told me that he has them as well. That made me feel loads better. So it looks like Ashley is around to stay for awhile. lol

I'm off to see my dad this weekend. That ought to be interesting. Lord knows I'll be bored out of my skull. So I'm trying to download movies and music on my laptop before going. He told me to night, on the phone, that I ought to be a country girl. Hmmm, I would have to disagree with that one. I like to get away for awhile but live there? Naw, not for me. Oh, I forgot, there probably will be a few bottles of spirits around. lol, I might have to partake in one. I could do with some loosening up.

lol, Check this out. I must be really dispairt. Beings that my router doesn't want to work, I have went and bought a 50 foot phone line cord! Yeah, yeah, I know, but I am disprit. lol, It even sounds a little extreme to me. I think I can justify it though. See, the only reason I wanted wireless in the first place was because of James. My mother isn't exactly aware of our relationship. She knows of him, and she even knows we talk a lot. I'm just having to brake the relationship news sofftly. Anyways, my router is not working. I've tried everything there is to try. I even called on friends to help. Which by the way I thank you guys a lot. They really did spend some time on it with me, and even used their day time minutes to help me out. I'm glad to know I'm worth it. lol, Straying off justification.

So I decided the other night that since my router wanted to be a piece of junk, then I was going to get around it. You have to understand my mother is a bit nosy, and without going in to detail, things can get intammene with us. Thus, the solution of a 50 foot phone line cord. I only hope it works now. I live in a small house, and so I think it could work. lol, I'll be sure to tell you guys if it does.

I've probably babbled long enough now. Feel free to leave a message, and thanks Lorrie for that comment. lol, I thought to myself, what a small world we live in. I had it figured our paths would never cross again. lol

Everyone take lots of care and remember to tell someone you love them. Peace.

Current Location: laptop
Current Mood: good
Current Music: Zombey by Cramberries.

Hi guys. Yet again I have had no success with my router. Why is things easy for everyone else, but when it comes to me things has to be complexed? lol, Who knows. I spent a good part of the day just on that. It really shouldn't be all that hard. Plus, I had help. Oh well, I imagine I'll get it all sorted soon enough.

James irritated me a bit today. I hadn't talked with him all day long, and then he falls asleep, because he was under the influence. Maybe I'm over reacting. I'm sure any other guy would say it's nothing to worry about. It's just that I wanted to talk to him about some stuff, but how can I when he can't stay awake long enough? things will be back to normal tomoro.

I finally roasted my pumpkin seeds I was on about. You would expect a big pumpkin to have more seeds than it did. No matter though. I stilled enjoyed them.

Well, I'm off again. Seea. Take care.

Current Location: where else
Current Mood: annoyed
Current Music: golden silence

I am officially 20 now. Not that is a magical number or anything, but I'm glad for it all the same. I had a nice birthday too. I spent a good majority of it visiting tsb. lol, Wow, wasn't that an experience. It feels different not being a student there anymore. I had to where a visiters tag and all. It was good to see everyone though. Well, I didn't get to see Mr. Joiner. He was away on the junior elimpics thing. I did talk with him vea a Miss Scott's cell phone though.

I had some cake and ice cream with my aunt and mom, but we're really celabrating it on Saturday. Mom feels bad about it. I told her to chill. It's not really that big of a deal. I don't know why she worries like that.

Sorry that I don't have anything interesting to say. I've been walking all day and am worn out. I'm off to meditate, and before people start jumping on me about meditation, it's just basically another word for relaxing. Put on some really relaxing music and try not to think of anything. I mean, try to blank out all thought. It's hard to do, in my opinion. If a thought happens to drift in, then let it float by. Easier said than done. I'm assuming some people are better at it than others. I'm learning though. It's interesting to try to not think of anything.

Right, anyways, I'm off. Take care, and remember to tell some one that you love them. I'll write tomoro. Seea.

Current Location: Must I say?
Current Mood: drained
Current Music: Fur Elise by Beethoven

So tomoro I will be one year older. My aunt asked if I felt any older. I told her no that I didn't. I imagine I'll start to feel my age sooner or later. Can't I just stay at 21 and never grow any older? lol, That would be just perfect. Hmmm, I probably need to find the fountain of youth first though. lol, Not only would I stay young for ever, but I would be filthy rich! All I would have to do is bottle the stuff and market it. Sounds easy enough. lol

I waged war with my computer today. Well, I should say my router. I installed my wireless card with no problems at all, but my router? That is a different story. I have yet to get the thing to work. It says something not about able to connect to the internet. Although, I think I might have discovered the problem to night. We'll see how it goes tomoro.

Here's a funny fact for you. When potatoes first came to Ireland the Cathlics had issues growing them,because they weren't mention in the bible. lol, I found that a little weird beings that was their main source of food later. Anyways, the Cathlics got over the issue by sprinkling holy water on them. By the way, the French claims the invention of French fries. Although, Belgium says otherwise. I do find it interesting that when ordering fries, in other countries, they call them American fries. I just know they are lovely stuff.

My mother asked if I had a crush on James this evening. I admit I blushed a little. I didn't expect her to ask me that. I told that I did in fact. It's ashame I can't tell her it is beyond that. I don't like what she said though. I always feel uncomfortable when she lectures me about men. I know she has some bad experiences but really. Do I have to suffer from them? Like I've said, my experience with Philip was a disaster, but I am much stronger for it, and I am being as careful as I can without pushing him away. I would never want to do that.

I'm giving some thought to buying an electric blanket. I looked on walmart.com, and they sounded perfect. I haven't had an electric blanket in years. I would love for my bed to be nice and warm and cozy. I asked if my mother would like one, but she didn't seem to keen on the idea. I can't imagine why not.

Isn't Josh Groben just heavenly? I plan on mariing him. lol, Along with Daniel Beddingfield, and Chad Croker. See? Josh and Daniel can take turns singing me love songs, and when I want a bit of a wild time, then that's where Chad comes in. Absolute equallibrium! I have to start a type of domonation first. A domonation where women are allowed to have more than one husband. Just like the moremans. I reckon it will be easy. The world is so easily influenced. Jira, I think you would like him. I'm not sure if you have any of his stuff, but the one album I have he does a lot of Italian and Spanish songs. His voice is so nice to listen to. Not to mention relaxing as well.

Well, lovely people, I am signing off for now. Keep in touch. Thanks for the comment Jira. Peace and love to everyone.

Current Location: the usual
Current Mood: relaxed
Current Music: Mi Morena by Josh Groben

Well, I would have liked to sit outside today and enjoy the fresh fall air. Of course, though, it would have to be raining. I usually like the rain, but it's depriving me of my favorite season. Automn is so beautiful. I love the way the leaves change to brown, red, and golden. The air is cool and fresh and tales of the dead are told around a bonfire. It also means family and friends will be sitting with you around a table laughing and giving you a sense of peace and love. Those are all the reasons why I love automn so much.

So in true fall season I have found a recipie for roasted pumpkin seeds.

After you clean out your pumpkin, use this recipe to roast the pumpkin seeds for a special treat!
INGREDIENTS:
list of 3 items
• 2 C. pumpkin seeds (approximate)
• 2 Tbsp oil or melted butter
• 1 tsp salt (optional)
list end
PREPARATION:
Wash the seeds well and stir with oil in bowl. Spread out to single layer on a cookie sheet. Sprinkle salt on top if desired. Bake at 250 degrees F. until
slightly brown.

Well, I don't have really thing else to say. So take care and be safe.

Current Location: my computer
Current Mood: relaxed
Current Music: James's voice

Yes, yes, I know, Ashley has brought herself to setting up a live journal account. I am quite aware that most live journals contain broken stories of people who feel that they have sorry lives, and although, I don't consider myself to be an open book, I decided that only letting my friends see my writings wouldn't be so bad. Plus, I could let off a little steam, and my friends would have an idea of what I'm up to even if we haven't spoken in awhile. just no that if you indeed have this, then I consider you a friend. In saying that, don't get deeply upset if you happen to be my subject of writing. Remember this is my journal and if you don't like what you read, well then, don't read it. I'm a straight forward person and will be no different on here. If you want to play the drama game, and not be my friend after reading something that meets your disliking, then you never were my friend in the first place. How strong is our bond if that's all it takes for you to be gone? Just confront me about it if I've really offended you.

Anyways, moving onward, I'm not really sure where to begin actually. Maybe I'll start by discussing my graduation. For those who were there then this doesn't really apply.

Graduating is a strange thing, in my opinion, because you wait a good portion of your life dreaming dreams and craving freedom from text books, teachers, and all the unnecessary drama that comes along with high school. I wanted to be a woman of the world. I wanted to write, sing, teach,be an arkyologist and be a couslor. I wanted all these things until my senior year. When I had finally reached the magical year life started to tell me I didn't really want to be all these things, or they were not realistic. So I stressed over what I should do with my future. I felt like an idiot. Here I had plans for this and that, and then all of a sudden I'm like, duh, what do I do now? Of course, I was told it was normal to feel that way but that didn't make me feel any better about the future. So as time tends to do, the world kept on turning. I did walk across the stage with proudness and an acceptance that my calling would come to me soon. Even though that place has its faults, it still comes to me in my dreams some times.

To my graduating class, I love and miss you all. Some of you I've known for a long time and some not so long. It doesn't matter. I'm thankful you played a role in my life. Thanks for the laughter and comfort when I was down. Maybe one day we'll meet up again and argue like we used to. Don't ya just miss it! lol

Alright, alright, put your tissue boxes away! Moving on. I have a birthday coming up soon. Yay for me! I'll be 20, and even though 30 is just ten years away, I can't see myself at that age. Where will I be in ten years? I hoped to be married by that time and have a couple of children. If fate continues to stay on my side, then that very thing just might happen. *smiles*

I'm in the desprit process of moving out of my house at the moment. My mother is driving me to madness! We rarely see each other, and when we do, we're at odds. We can't agree on anything and everything I say is being disrespectful. She knows we don't get along, but in the same breath she says she isn't ready for me to move out yet. WellI am! I've tried to sign up for apartments in Davison county, beings I'll be attending school in Nashville, but they told me I had to have lived in Davison county as of 6 months in order to apply for an apartment. Well, I don't live in Davison county. So that creates a bit of a problem. I might apply for one locally. I'll have to see if I can arrange for reliable transportation to and from Nashville.

November the 7th I have an interview with a lady named Jane at the Tennessee Career College. Beings it's a smaller school, they are a bit selective. So everyone wish me lots of luck on that and keep your fingers crossed. Oh, by the way, it's medical transcription that I will be studying.

I suppose I should go public with this, if you haven't already heard the fat juicy gosep, James and I are an item, a couple, going out or whatever you want to call it. His name is James, he's 20, and he lives in England. I originally met him threw Chris when he was in college. We only really started talking in July. You know, MSN and skype. we had told each other that we liked one another, but we didn't make it official until September 12th. He's coming to America in the summer to see me, and if things are right, then I will leave with him back to England. If not then I will shortly after he leaves.

Now listen, I don't want everyone tripping out on me. This is a much different situation than it was with Philip. James is nothing like him. I've learned my lesson about Philip. So let's not think Ashley is up a tree again. Yes, Philip and I should have never been, but what's done is done. So please don't give me any grief about James. It's going to be hard enough managing a long distance relationship with out all the negativity. So if you have something unpleasant to say about James, myself, or the relationship, then please keep it to yourself.

I believe I've rambled long enough now. Feel free to leave a comment. Just say hi or something. At least I'll know if you guys really read this stuff. There isn't any reason to keep writing if no one is reading. I'll update in a few days. Take care everyone.

Current Location: not sure
Current Mood: sleepy
Current Music: James breathing